My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
