So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
