I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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