youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
