Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
