Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
