I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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