she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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