dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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