New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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