lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He did a backflip because drugs
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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