the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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