im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
