I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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