ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
