He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
