he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
