Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
