I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
