What a fucking waste of an outfit
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
