Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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