I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
