btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
