He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
