I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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