They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
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