definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
