You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
