You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
