before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
