Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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