im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
