For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
