Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
