All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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