the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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