sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
