he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
