Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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