we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
