She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
