she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
