Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
