I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
