Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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