My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
My life is pants optional.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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