You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
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