I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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