i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
When did angry sex become our thing?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
