Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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