i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
